I’ve haven’t yet had a wedding day, given birth or won the lottery but I have gotten my inbox down to exactly ZERO emails so I think I know a thing or two about joy that not even the above list can generate. That’s right…zilch, zero, zippo… like a boss. But, while it is a euphoric moment, an empty inbox is a fleeting moment. It’s like seeing a near extinct, rare bird in the wild. Just as you’re telling yourself that is indeed a red-breasted, blue beaked fefferniffer (That’s made up. My sincere apologies to Mr. Kurtzman, my 9th grade biology teacher, for not retaining a single name on his rare bird species list. I have clearly failed him.), it flies away. And, the instant your inbox clicks to “no messages,” one crashes in and robs your soul of any happiness. What I’m saying is, the struggle is real people. There are some days when I send and receive upwards of 250 emails. And, don’t get me wrong, I read each and every one of them. In fact, I drive my team crazy reminding them that all emails are to be responded to during the work week within 6 to 12 hours, which really is a moot point because we get to them as fast as they come in anyways. But, I’m not talking about the deluge of reading them, I’m talking about organizing them. As fast as I file, delete and archive, new ones are piling up. It’s like a brushfire I can’t get ahead of. And, lord help me if I’m traveling, which if you’ve seen my Instagram feed then you know travel is a constant in my life. That means it’s a forgone conclusion that by the time I return there will be exactly 562 new, un-filed emails in my inbox to contend with. In fact, these past 6 months I fell so far behind that I bucketed an entire 2 quarters into one folder. I just desperately needed a clean slate and clearly the email Gods were against me. I’d reached 2,788 emails in my inbox. There’s no coming back from that. What choice did I have but to cry Uncle? The funny thing is though, I don’t even know why I’m so compelled to have a “filed” inbox in the first place. It’s not like the work goes away. It’s all there, it’s just in a folder. How is that better? I don’t know; somehow it is, right? Maybe it’s because it mirrors my belief that when your house is in order, your life is in order or maybe it’s because it makes me feel as if I’m a more than a superhero because Superman might take down villains and lift entire buses into the sky but I don’t believe for a second he’s ever gotten his inbox to zero. He’s flying around up there with a staggering 1600 messages in that inbox of his, I just know it. Come to think of it, that’s probably the second thing we have in common, Superman and I, inbox management has to be his kryptonite too. Thank goodness though we have that first thing in common, the cape. I prefer mine to be of the high-end label sort. He likes his to be of the poly-silk blend, certain shade of a blue sort, but both are capes nonetheless. So, as long as there’s email in the world you can count on Superman and I to suit up and stay in the fight, but I promise you this, I’ll leave the bus-lifting and lycra-wearing to him.
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