Turns Out, Love is a Six Pack (and we're here for it)
In 1970, Dr. John Lee plucked from his research the notion that there are six different types of love. So, today, in honor of Valentine’s Day, I’m going to do what absolutely no one asked for, and determine which love matches our most iconic, rom-com leading men.
First up, Eros. The word itself is the actual name of the god of love and fertility. So, I’m going with the one man that made our collective ovaries stand up and salute first: Mr. Jake Ryan. His boyish grin and roguish charm were enough to clinch the spot for Sixteen Candles, but then this heartbreaker went one step further and got a cake and some candles. Needless to say, if any man ever thought he could buy a toaster oven as a gift for his girlfriend after that and not expect her to burn his house down in retaliation, well, he was wrong.
Ludus is second on deck. This love is described as a playful and flirtatious love. If you’ve ever seen me look at donuts, then you get the idea. Coy. Wanton. Ludus goes to the man that I want to flirt with most, Mr. Josh Duhamel’s Eric Messer from Life as We Knew It. I have watched this movie almost as much as The Holiday. Give me one more weekend of free HBO and I might top it. I love the bad boy grows up trope. As GOOP Lab on Netflix recently taught me is possible, it gives me an internal lady boner each and every time.
Third on the list is Storgé, defined as a familiar and companionable love. For that reason, it goes to Ryan Reynolds in Just Friends. His character falls for Amy Smart’s Jamie in high school, but she friend-zones him. So instead, they become best friends and he carries a torch for her for years. I think we all know a young love like that. One that smolders quietly for a decade or two and then suddenly reignites. Recently, culottes had this effect on me. I know I should have held out for Ryan Reynolds, but they were denim.
A rational and sensible love, Pragma, falls at number four on our list, and I am giving it to the most sensible and rational leading man I know: Tom Hanks. Sleepless in Seattle, Splash, Big…he steals my heart each and every time. He is consistent and I can’t think of a single situation in life that wouldn’t be made better by having Tom by my side. He is funny, smart, collects typewriters, and by all accounts, is a great husband. If life is like a box of chocolates, Tom is the raspberry crème filled ones…which we all know are the best ones in the box, Forest.
Mania slides into number five on the love definition chart with its pent up energy and frenetic chemistry. I’m giving this one to our favorite fictional (and factual) stripper, Channing Tatum. I think we were all momentarily mesmerized by Magic Mike…the first one, obviously. Chan, as his friends call him, spun audiences into a lather. Women went in droves to the theater and hooted and hollered at the screen, and I can assure you it wasn’t because they liked his exhaust pipe coffee table, if you know what I mean…
Lastly, we have Agape. This love is unconditional, and as such, I give it to the rom com that resides, solidly, in my number one slot, Can’t Buy Me Love. Yes, Mystic Pizza, Overboard with Goldie Hawn, Say Anything, and The Money Pit are nipping close at its heels, but I am a Cindy Mancini and Ronald Miller loyalist. Fact is, Patrick Dempsey had my heart long before McDreamy and I would still, to this very day, let him mow my lawn.
So, that’s the love list. I recently heard that another leading authority has been advocating for the expansion of the list to make more room for independent or self-love. I guess that means Dr. Lizzo is in the house. Happy Valentine’s Day, y’all.
If you’re looking to discover a new leading man, I hope you’ll check out Unverified, by me.
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